Everyday is Father’s Day

I think it’s crazy, but Jim Fickley wants a 1960 something Volkswagen Bug. He’s been searching high & low for one. On our way down to a Men’s Retreat at Sharp Top Cove in Georgia he saw one for sale on the side of the road. He stopped and turned around in order to find out about it. It was just sold… for $800. He just about died. The other day we were driving down Boones Creek Road and saw another one. This one was $2500. Immediately Jim picked up the phone to call Karen about it.

At first I didn’t understand. Why would anyone want a piece of junk like that? But as we talked, it became clear: he used to work on a VW Bug with his dad when he was young. That made a lot of sense to me.

I’ve heard it said before that men like to do the things that they did with their father. I can see some truth in my life. I love to fly fish. Why? Because that’s what my father loved to do. (I just mailed him a fly rod reel for Father’s Day). And my son, Sterling, likes to play football and basketball. Why? Because it’s something we experience together.

Perhaps each son is born with an unquenchable longing to experience life with his father. And so, we’re always wanting his attention. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard Sterling say: “Dad, can you go outside? Can you throw me a long bomb.” Or he does a reverse lay-up and then he asks, “Hey dad: did you see that?” There’s hardly a day that he’s not trying to show off his knowledge, his skill, his stuff… all to get my attention and my praise. I did the same thing with my dad. Still do.

You know, when we finally get our dad to notice… when we finally spend “quality time” with him… when he finally speaks… WE COME ALIVE! And for the rest of our lives we treasure & re-live it.

But if he doesn’t notice… when he doesn’t think we’re special… when he doesn’t give us his time… WE EXPERIENCE DEATH! And for the rest of our lives we resent & grieve it.

Bono comes to mind. Here is a man that has climbed to new heights as a music celebrity. But his passion to sing hasn’t come out of a vacuum. Guess what his father did? That’s right… he sang. And guess what his father didn’t do enough of? That’s right, give him his attention & his praise. Check it out…

Tough, you think you’ve got the stuff / You’re telling me and anyone / You’re hard enough / You don’t have to put up a fight / You don’t have to always be right / Let me take some of the punches /For you tonight

Listen to me now / I need to let you know / You don’t have to go it alone / And it’s you when I look in the mirror / And it’s you when I don’t pick up the phone / Sometimes you can’t make it on your own

We fight all the time / You and I… that’s alright / We’re the same soul / I don’t need… I don’t need to hear you say / That if we weren’t so alike / You’d like me a whole lot more

I know that we don’t talk / I’m sick of it all / Can, you, hear, me, when, I, sing / You’re the reason I sing / You’re the reason why the opera is in me / Well hey now, still gotta let ya know / A house doesn’t make a home / Don’t leave me here alone

And it’s you when I look in the mirror / And it’s you that makes it hard to let go / Sometimes you can’t make it on your own / Sometimes you can’t make it / Best you can do is to fake it / Sometimes you can’t make it on your own

Every son longs for his father. And the voice that we hear back is often the voice that we ourselves gain. If it’s a detached voice, we usually become detached with others. If it’s an intimate voice, we usually become intimate with others. (Thankfully, that’s what my father gave me.)

Those of us who are fathers should do their best to give all we have to our sons (time, attention and affection). Our actions can produce a immature & damaged boy or a truly mature & confident man.

All said, I don’t think it’s realistic to expect a father to satisfy every one of his son’s God-given longings. A son’s longing is just too great! Only our Heavenly Father can truly satisfy our deepest longings. He’s one the loves, heals, embraces and unleashes each one of us.

That’s why I think that every day is Father’s Day for a son.

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