Lately we’ve found that the Fooshee schedule has gotten overloaded. Why? Not only have we moved, be we’ve planted a church that is very social. That’s great & what we wanted. But the result is that some of the things that we most love are getting squeezed out. So, we decided that we need to cut back.
The problem we discovered is trying to figure out what to cut! There are so many good activities in our daily life, it’s hard to know what’s important. The adage is true: “The good is the enemy of the best.”
So, we came back to our purpose as parents. Our goal is not to raise “well-rounded” kids that are exposed to all facets of life. That may be a good goal, but we’ve found that it creates a schedule that’s too busy. So, while it may be good, it’s not the best goal. We’ve determined that our parenting goal is to raise kids that are:
- Intimate with Christ (John 15:1-10)
- Loving Others (John 15:12-17)
- Discovering their divine design (Prov. 22:6)
Next, we evaluated each one of our activities according to its ability to accomplish our parenting goal. We simply labeled them as either “good,” “better” or “best.” Here’s a sampling:
Good: Ballet, sports & piano
Better: Academics, youth group, developing friendships with neighbors & “newbies” at church
Best: Time for family play & spiritual conversations
Once we made this list, we saw which things we needed to cut back on: mostly ballet, sports & piano. We also saw that we need to protect our time as a family together. So, for example, when it comes time to read a book together as a family, nothing gets in the way (not even undone homework!).
I realize as you look at our list, you can see what we value. Your list probably would look different based upon what you value. That’s ok. But I thought it may be helpful for you to see how we’ve gone about cutting back.
(I love this picture above. It’s Kevin & Teri Miller’s son who obeyed his parents by taking the time to put on his hat & shoes before he went outside to say goodbye to someone.)
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John & Lindsay -
Yup, such good advice. Something we so agree with, and yet still grapple with. I find that I’M often the one wanting to do more…go running, have lunch with a friend, add another dance class, take dinner to the sick neighbor, etc… I have to consistently discipline myself, and review that “good, better, best” list to keep things in perspective. Sometimes even all my “service” isn’t best; more guilt driven than Holy-Spirit driven. Thanks for reminding me again.
Teri
Great advice, as always from you John. And thanks for giving Ian some behind-the-scenes PR. We always tell the kids, keep your head warm and your feet protected and that’s all you need. The rest will take care of itself… (this is why I do all my runs out in the Rocky Mountain trails where no one is to be found)
Kevin